I don't know much about art but I can tell you this,
Duchamp's Urinal is a piece of piss.
Van Gogh cut off his ear to spite his face SO WHAT!
Me, I've got a message for the whole human race.
I wanna be a phallic symbol like the Tower Of Pisa,
And wipe the smile off the face of that bitch the Mona Lisa.
I'll date Botticelli's Venus just to tease her,
But unless you're hung like a Jackson Pollock you couldn't please her.

Funk you! And funk your mother,
Funk your sister, funk your auntie and funk your little brother.
When you've learnt how to funk one another,
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf,
Go home to the one you love and funk yourself!

As Galileo said 'And yet it moves!'
While Oppenheimer splits the atom,
And a man Newton finds the groove.
But me I agree with Einstein who put is so much simpler,
I want to end as it began with one big bang not a whimper.

Funk You! Funk quantum physics.
When you've proved their theories wrong,
You can go and funk the cynics.
Take a proton pill as you butt funk their gimmicks,
You're an E=mc2, that's your life!
So funk you buddy and funk your wife!

Sexual psychology fascinates me more than art or science,
I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance.
A girl came to my clinic, I guess you'd call her a client.
She wouldn't touch my pinkies, which I found so defiant.
I said 'My psycho-analyst is gonna love you, cos you look just like my sister'
She said 'But I've got no arms and armless girls cannot play Twister'
She tried to take my pants off with her teeth,
But her stiff upper lip got caught in the metal zip.

Funk you! And funk your mother,
Funk your sister, funk your auntie and funk your little brother.
When you've learnt how to funk one another,
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf,
Go home to the one you love and,
Go home to the one you love and funk yourself!